Sunday, September 11, 2011


Yesterday I was having a bit of a selfish day. Everyone is allowed one now and then, right?

I love my kids and my family is my world. Nothing is more important to me. That's why yesterday caught me a bit by surprise.

It started at lunch. I make Carter and me something to eat. I get him started eating his lunch. Then I make Kinsley something. When that is done it is time for me to eat. Only it isn't really. I forgot a drink for Carter. I get up, get it and hand it to him. Sit down again. I forgot the ketchup and Carter dips EVERYTHING in ketchup. I get up and get it. Kinsley starts screeching because her tray has been empty for .0001 second. I give her more food. And by the time I get some cut up to prepare for the next screechfest, she has already cleaned her tray so I have to cut up more. Repeat about 596 times.

Eventually I get to sneak a bite. Mmm, cold (sometimes soggy) food.

Will I EVER get a warm meal again?

And again at bedtime- more selfishness.

I get Kinsley to sleep. Darek is asleep because he has to wake up super early to work overtime. And Carter isn't even close. My eyeballs feel like they have sand in them and my eyelids feel as if they are trying to hold up 50lb bags.

But I can't go to sleep untill both kids are asleep. Carter would inevitably need a drink/pee/story and would just wake me up anyway.

So I wait. And wait. And wait. (It was 11:00 at that point.)

Carter falls asleep (finally!) and now I feel as if I had drank a route 44 cherry coke from Sonic. I was buzzing with energy. But I laid there anyway. And thought about all that I needed to do the next day/week/century. And about how I wonder if I will EVER get to be the first one asleep.

I would even settle going to the bathroom by myself for once in 3 years.

But today things are back to normal. My cold lunch will be ok. After all, if I make me a hammie sandwich its cold anywsy, right? And I drew Carter a picture while I was in the bathroom (some of my best art, I must say). And I will cherish the 30+ minutes of silence after everyone goes to bed and before my brain wants to turn off. And one of these days I will go to a restaurant alone (Darek can babysit) and I will eat first.
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